Pokemon: Trainers
by Platypus 3333
Summary: PROBABLY PG-13. Anyway, this fic is really weird, and I've heard that it can be humorous. I dunno.


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platypus3333

platypus3333@yahoo.com

http://members.tripod.com/Platypus3333/

This is my first (and probably LAST) Pokemon fic. Frankly, I like Evangelion a lot more.

Don't read this if you consider yourself to be sane.

Don't read this if you can't take a joke.

Don't read this if you are totally serious about Pokemon, and can take no irreverence.

Flame me if you like. I just wrote this because some guy (The proprietor of PokeCenter, I believe) asked me to. It would make him happy if I put a link here, so I won't.

'Stuff in these brackets is thinking, or telepathically communicating. Same thing.'

The little star thingies show a scene change.

Between chapters there is usually an undetermined amount of time.

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Pokemon: Trainers

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Part 1: Whatever…

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There was a forest. In the forest there was a path. On the path walked two trainers in training. One was tall, with a serious look on his face. Next to him was another, slightly shorter, but with a bright and interested air about him. The short one turned to the tall one.

"Are we almost there yet, Jim?"

"No." Jim was looking miserable.

"Are you sure?"

"BOB, I'M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME, WE ARE NOT ALMOST THERE!" Bob stared at Jim, who shrugged. They walked in silence for several minutes, before Bob heard, in the distance, a crunching noise.

"Hey… I hear a pokemon…" They paused and strained, trying to hear anything. Then Bob pointed into the forest. "There!"

"Are you sure? The last time you heard 'a pokemon' it turned out to be some red-head bathing. I still have that bruise, you know…"

"No, I'm sure this time. This is definitely a pokemon. Maybe it's a Mew!"

Jim sighed. "Bob, I keep telling you, Mew was found on a whole other continent. And besides, Mew is rare as anything. The chances of seeing Mew here are infinitely small."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"But Mew can fly, and it's the most powerful pokemon ever discovered…"

"What about Mewtwo?"

"Mewtwo is a clone. Forget Mewtwo."

"Fine."

"Anyway, the thing is, that is definitely a pokemon I just heard."

"Ok. Let's check it out."

They crept slowly toward the noise. Jim took out a ball containing a level 32 Ditto. He brandished it, ready to throw whenever it was needed. Bob took out a large, round rock. Jim stared. "What happened to your Abra?"

"I lost it."

"You LOST a pokemon? How the hell did you do that?"

"I dunno. I think I was using it for a game of hockey…"

"I don't think Abra liked that…"

"Oops."

Jim brightened up. "Hey, there it is!" He sighed when he saw a Jigglypuff. He already had one. Bob, as a contrast, was ecstatic.

"All right!" He got into position and, gripping the rock, pulled his arm back. Jim stared.

"You can't capture a pokemon like THAT! It'll just run away!"

* Whap *

"Jiggly…puu…"

* Thunk *

Jim watched warily as Bob threw a ball at the unconscious pokemon. "Ok. So it worked once. But you can't expect it to work every time!"

"Why not?"

"Well, think. What are you gonna do with an Onix? Throw a rock?"

"Use this squirt gun I picked up in Pallet." Bob pulled it out. "Rock pokemon are weak with water, right?"

"Yes, but that won't hurt an Onix. It's too small."

"Then I'll bait it and take a hose to it."

"…"

"That'd work, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, maybe, but it's just not done…"

"So?"

"Argh." Jim kicked a rock off the path. Bob pulled out a radio. "How many things do you have in that bag?"

"Enough." Bob flicked a switch. "Hey, Ketchum's in the finals! They're interviewing him!"

"Really?" Jim leaned over and took a look. "I always knew he would make it."

"Yeah, he's good. But remember that time, when he was new, he threatened a group of Spearows? That was pretty daft, if you ask me…"

"Yep. Hey, that's the redhead!" Bob took a look as the camera panned to the girl. A caption at the bottom read "Misty, Trainer/Commentator." They watched as she began.

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"Thank you, Mary. Ash Ketchum, in just a few short years, has managed to rise through the ranks and train with the best of them. Hailing from the small town of Pallet, Ash has traveled all over the world, successfully finding and capturing such pokemon as the ultra-rare Articuno and Aerodactyl, previously thought to be respectively myth and extinct. Ash, how do you feel about finally being on top?"

"Well, Misty, I feel extremely happy to be here, but I couldn't have gotten to this position without the help of my trusty Pikachu, my mother, and, of course, my friends." Misty grinned.

"Back to you, Mary."

"Thank you. Here's a look at the stats for the starters the competitors will be using. First, Ash's Pikachu, long famous as being the most powerful example of its type ever bred, will be starting today. Its abilities are being kept secret by Ash, and with good reason: his main challenger will be Gary Oak, his fellow trainer from Pallet, who uses an eevee. Any evolution may be used for the battle, so secrecy is a must."

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Bob turned off the television as Mary began talking to "experts" about statistics and probability. "They're not fighting for a while, it seems."

"Apparently not."

"So what do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno."

"Hmm… Wanna see if we can sneak into the stadium?"

"How?"

"Oh, yeah. Maybe we can go rent a Pidgeotto and fly…"

"How much money you got?"

"Umm… 13 dollars and…um…37 cents."

"I got 10 bucks. Think that'll be enough?"

"I dunno…" They walked toward the city of Neon.

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Part 2: Argh…

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Bob sat in a padded seat, staring at the sight of Jim haggling with a Pidgeotto breeder.

"No, I told you, we only have 23 dollars and 37 cents! NOT 25! Can't you just let the difference go?"

The man shook his head. "No, man, I need to feed my kid…"

"It's a bloody dollar and 63 cent difference!! That can't even buy a #$#$##$ cheeseburger!"

"Actually, yes, it can…"

"I DON'T CARE! WE NEED TO GET TO INDIGO!" 

"Listen, man, why don't you back off, or I'll have to get medieval on yer—"

"UGH!" Jim stalked off. "Come on, Bob, we need to find a dollar and 63 cents."

"No problem. What do we sell?"

"Um… how many spare Pokeballs do you have?"

"Three."

"I've got 35. Ok. I can sell 1." They walked into a store. The door made a pleasant chime as it opened. Jim approached the cashier. "Ok, how much can I get for this Pokeball?"

"Is it used?"

"No. Look, the seal is still on."

"3 dollars."

"Deal." They walked out and went back to the Pidgeotto breeder. "Ok, here. Send us to Indigo."

"Thanks, man. Follow me." They exited the shop through the back door and found a fenced-off yard. The man drew out a ball and threw it into the center. A huge Pidgeotto came out, and the man stuck a saddle on. "Ok, man, get on."

"Um, there's no seatbelts?"

"No, man. Why would there be?"

"No reason. Got duct tape?"

"Of course, man." The two trainers got on and the man taped them up. "Have a safe trip, man."

"No problem."

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Bob was looking down. They were about a mile up into the air, and the buildings looked like little ants. Bob pulled out a camera and took out a blank roll of film. He dropped it. "Oops…"

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Todd watched closely as two Bulbasaurs approached each other. Licking his lips, he raised the camera.

* Thunk *

Later, 2 Bulbasaurs found an unconscious photographer and ate his camera.

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"Did you drop something? Why did you say 'Oops?'"

"No reason. I just felt like saying it."

"No problem. We're there." They got off and the Pidgeotto flew away.

"Cool…"

"Yep." They strolled in.

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"Sorry, it's too late to register…" A receptionist said this without looking up from her fashion magazine.

"Er, actually, we're here to watch the battles…"

"Too late for that, too. Just watch it on television."

"No, we came all this way just to see this."

"Oh, I'm SO sorry." After reading for a few seconds, she looked up. "Are you still here?" They turned and left.

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Jim was struggling up the side of the building, a rope tied to his waist. On the other end was Bob, who was reading a magazine. They were about 100 feet up so far, and had around 150 left to go. Jim gritted his teeth. 'I can't believe that Mom made me bring him along…'

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KIDS! Don't climb up 250-feet high walls without special permission and equipment. Jim and Bob are specially trained climbing technicians that have special talents that you lack. So don't do it. Really. Unless, of course, you want to.

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Jim pulled himself up, then turned, planted his feet, and pulled Bob up. "Having fun?" he asked sarcastically.

"Actually, yes! Can we do that again?" Jim grunted and turned away. He went to the other side of the roof and pulled out a pair of binoculars.

"Hmmm… no fights yet, just the pre-show…" Bob pulled out his own and took a look. 300 Pikachus were putting on a tumbling and acrobatic display. Above them was a blimp with an electronic video display. It flashed the following: "Brock's PokeMunchies: The Right Stuff For Your Pokemon. Endorsed by famous trainers Ash Ketchum and Misty." They both put down the binoculars and sighed. Then Bob pulled out his television.

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"—looks like Ash is the favorite for today's battle. Now, we'll cut to Professor Oak in his laboratory, where he'll talk about something integral to today's battle…"

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Part 3: Pain and Suffering

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Jim sat with his binoculars. "Hey, Bob, they're starting!" He nudged the still figure next to him.

"What?"

"I said, Ash is about to fight Gary…"

Bob sat up and pulled out his binoculars. "Hey, are you serious?"

"Of course I am."

"Cool." They watched as the doors on the sides of the field opened, and the competitors walked out.

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"Hey, Ash."

"Hey, Gary." They stood facing each other. Both were about the same height now, and also around the same age.

"I'm surprised you made it this far…"

"I told you I would!"

"Yep. Ready?"

"Of course." They shook hands to the roar of the crowd and went to their starting boxes. They reached to their belts and each pulled out a ball. They stood still, waiting for the announcement to begin.

"READY…BEGIN!"

Ash threw his ball to the center and Pikachu popped out. Gary did the same and the ball produced an Eevee, unevolved.

"Pikachu, quick attack!" Pikachu became a blur as it leapt at the relatively still Eevee…

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Insert action packed fight scene here, Ash wins, yadda, yadda, yadda, Gary becomes his friend again, blah, blah, blah, Ash becomes champion, yack, yack, yack…

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Jim put his binoculars down. "That was a nice fight."

"Yup."

"What do you wanna do now?"

"I dunno. Lets get back down first."

"Ok."

"Hey, Ditto, climb down there and imitate and airbag, will you?"

"DITTO!" Ditto went to the edge and jumped. Jim looked down. There was now a huge airbag. He jumped.

"Thanks, ditto. What the—NO, BOB, NO!"

* Crunch *

"Jim? Is that you?"

"…"

"Jim? JIM! Sorry, Jim!"

"…urg…"

"Can you feel all the parts of your body, Jim?"

"………"

"…Well, sorry. Here, I'll get off." Bob got off in time to see Misty walking out. "Hey, Misty, help us out!"

"Hi—hey, you're those perverts!"

"Erg—sorry…"

"You have a lot of nerve, calling me over here—"

"…sorry…"

"K. What's your name?"

"I'm Bob, and he's Jim."

"Dang… your pretty mutilated…"

"Some IDIOT named BOB decided to JUMP ON ME from 250 feet…"

"…Well, why were you up there in the first place?!"

"Poke…pokemon match…"

"Oh."

"K…kill Bob. Do it for me, please…"

"Everyday, I get bombarded with weird crap…" Misty sighed. 'Wonder how Ash is doing…"

"Can…can you do that?"

"Eh?"

"Ne…never mind."

"Two idiot trainers… Why is it always you?!" Misty mused.

"Everyone…wants to be a trainer…"

"Right. Well, we better do something about your wounds…"

"…" Jim blacked out.

"So, how long have you been trainers?" Misty asked Bob as they struggled to pick him up.

"Um…I dunno…about 3 years?"

"Come on, you two can't become trainers in 3 YEARS? That's pathetic!"

"K, I know that, I read it in a magazine…"

"SuperPOKE Monthly?" Bob nodded. "I think I wrote that article. Oh well. Jim, how are you?"

"…"

"Brain dead…Bob, how much do you weigh?" They hefted Jim and headed toward the pokecenter.

"About 145…"

"No, you look like you weigh less. Are you sure?" Misty kicked open the door.

"…Yes, of course I'm sure."

"Including how many bags?" Misty grunted as she stuffed Jim onto a hand truck and duct-taped him into position.

"Ten." Misty sighed. 

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Jim woke up to find himself in a hospital bed. Bob was sitting to his right. "Bob…" he called weakly. Bob woke up.

"Jim? You're all right?"

"Bob… come closer…" Bob did so, and gagged as Jim grabbed his throat.

"Never," he growled, "DO THAT AGAIN. UNDERSTAND?"

"…" Bob was trying to breath. That's important. "…" Jim let go.

"Ok. Where's my Ditto?"

"Um…in that ball to yer left." Jim grasped it. "Ditto, you saved my life. How can I ever repay you?"

"Hey, he saved mine too!" Jim glared.

"No, doofus, you fell on ME. I technically saved your sorry butt."

"Oh, thanks!"

"Idiot." Jim drifted off to sleep again.

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Part 4: Team Rocket

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Two trainers walked peacefully along a path. Rather, one was walking peacefully and the other was playing "Cowboys" with a stick.

"Giddy-up! Ho ho ho!" Bob pranced around a silent Jim. "GO, big doggie! GO! Weee!"

Jim stared straight ahead. 'I knew I shouldn't have let him drink that expresso…' "Bob, stop."

"What? What? The bank's in trouble? Go, big doggie!" Bob started going in his wide circle again. "Chuu Chuu!"

"Bob, stop now."

"Weee!"

"Bob, I'm going to hit you…" Jim picked up a rather large stick. "…With this rather large stick if you don't stop."

"Whoa, pardner! Watch out--"

* Whap *

"There we go!" Jim started smiling, threw the broken stick into the bushes, and started dragging Bob along.

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Two people and a talking cat hid in the bushes. "James! Did you see that?"

"Definitely. Definitely."

"This is our chance to please the boss!"

The cat spoke up. "He fired us 5 years ago.

"Shut up, Meowth! This will get us back into his good graces!"

"Besides, there wasn't anything interesting there. It was an idiot pretending his stick was a horse."

"No, but don't you SEE? It's obvious that they know Misty and Ash!"

Jesse spoke up. "Remember, we saw them dragging the tall one at the stadium!"

"Yeah! That means they're friends! We can use them as hostages to get more Pokemon!" The two started giggling madly. Meowth watched them and sighed.

'Stupid humans…'

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Bob was standing patiently next to a vending machine. Jim had gone into a store to purchase more potions. He sighed. "Man, this is boring."

"Psst! Kid!" He spun. He was being addressed by a woman in a cheesy-looking spy disguise.

"What?"

"Yeah, you!"

"What…"

"You want some candy?"

"No."

"…Come on, come over here and take the candy!"

"Nah."

"Why the heck not?"

"Not that hungry. I just got something from the vending machine." Bob indicated the machine next to him.

"Come on. Take it for later." She waggled the candy in front of his face.

"Uh…no…"

Then Jim came out. "Hey, what's going on?"

Bob pointed. "This woman wants us to take some candy."

'Yes…finally! Victory will FINALLY be ours!' Jesse turned and started waving the candy in front of Jim's face. "Here…nice and chewy…"

"Ok, fine." Jim snatched it out of her hand. "Here's a buck." He placed the folded bill in her hand. "Come on, Bob. We gotta hurry."

"Ok. Thanks for the candy, lady!" Bob started walking after Jim. Jesse stared at her hand.

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James looked up. "So was it successful?"

Jesse frowned. "No. They took it and gave me a dollar."

"A dollar?"

"Yeah." She sat down and took off her hat. "They're in a hurry, though, so we better move."

Meowth stood up. "This is pathetic. Come on, let's go find something else to do."

"No! We must finish our job!"

"Argh…Fine. Stinking over-evolved monkeys…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

****************************************

"Hey, it just occurred to me." Bob kicked a rock.

"What?"

"That girl looked pretty familiar…"

Jim stopped. "Yeah, to me too…weird."

They started walking again. "VERY weird."

"Uh huh."

"I wonder how Ash and Misty are doing."

"Probably making out or something."

"What? I thought they were just friends…"

"Nah. It's obvious. They've hung out together for over 5 years. And Ash bought a cool bike for her."

"He owed her a bike."

"But still…they're still pals, right?"

"I guess."

"I really do wonder…"

"Yeah."

"What ARE they doing now?"

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Ash and Misty were stranded along Interstate 57. "I CAN'T believe you trathed my bike again!" Misty was pretty mad. Or wasted. Same thing for her.

"Hey, I made good on the last one, right?"

"Yeah, aftuh 5 FRIGGIN YEARTH!"

"Ok, Ok, fine. 5 years. But I actually have money now!"

"Argh."

"And besides, I trashed this bike because you were about to get hit by a Mack Truck! My bike is screwed up too!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Misty sat down on the road, grumbling.

"At least yours is still identifiable…Misty, never drink that stuff in my Mom's cabinet again."

"Wha?" Misty started staring at him.

"Um…"

She giggled drunkenly. "Hur hur hur."

Ash started sweat-dropping. "Um…Misty? Are you ok?"

"Why, off courth…why do you athk?" She giggled again.

"No reason."

"Thay, you're pretty cute in thith light…" She started edging closer. Ash started edging away at a faster rate.

"Um…"

"What thay we--"

"AHHHH!" Ash scrambled up and bolted for the horizon. The two halves of his mind were arguing with each other.

'Ketchum, you're a total wuss. You should go for it.' Stud Ash was yelling.

He shook his head to himself. 'No, I consider myself to be rather responsible…yeah, responsible!' Wuss Ash was defending himself.

'Wuss!'

'I'm actually quite proud to have such control over my hormones.'

'No, you're a wuss.'

Ash looked back. Misty was chasing him down.

"Wait! Wait! Come back! Pleath! Athy-Poo!"

Stud Ash thought for a moment. 'Okay…so she IS pretty wasted…This just means that now is the time!'

'The heck it is! She's wasted off Mom's cabinet supply!'

'I wonder what that stuff is for…'

'Hey! It's none of our business!'

'Sure it is! It's probably Dad's!'

'What are you implying?!'

Ash looked back again. Misty was gaining.

"Aw, Ath, yer no fun! Thlow down!"

"I don't believe in fraternizing with drunk red-heads!"

Stud Ash grimaced. He was losing. 'Oh, that's a really great comeback. A DRUNK RED-HEAD IS WHAT 99% OF THE MALE POPULATION WANTS! AND MAYBE 3% OF THE FEMALE!'

'No it isn't!'

'Yes it is! What kind of twisted deviancy are you suffering from?!'

'I…'

'Yeah, exactly! You're the messed up one, not me!'

'…'

'Hahaha! Now who's winning, punk?'

Ash looked back and his eyes widened. He was tackled from behind.

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Jim looked over at Bob. "I have no idea."

"None?"

"They're pretty responsible…"

"Yeah."

"Ah well."

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Part 5: It Gets Worse

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Ash was twitching nervously. "Um…"

"Yeth?" Misty leaned in closer and smiled.

"Um, Misty, you're not exactly using you judgement right now…" 'Where the heck is Pikachu?! Oh, yeah…I gave him a vacation at the PokeVillage resort…'

"I feel fine…" She started grinning and bared her teeth.

Ash's personalities were dueling again. Stud Ash was slowly becoming the victor. 'Go for it, you idiot! This is a once in a lifetime chance!!!'

Wuss Ash was slowly succumbing. 'No…I…can't…she is hot…no…'

'Haha! Bow down to my grand studliness! HAHAHAHA!'

'No…NO!'

Ash's eyes bugged out as Misty began passionately kissing him. "MMPH! MMM GGG!"

…Let's leave those two now, and go on to the main characters…

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"…Yeah, those two won't get anywhere soon. They're too responsible." Jim was looking at the variety of Pokemon foods on the counter.

"What if they're drunk?" Bob was trying to open a can with a rock.

"Which one can you imagine drunk?"

"Well, I dunno, we don't know them that well…"

"Yeah, no kidding, except that time we accidentally walked in on her taking a bath…"

"You got beat for that…"

"It wasn't my fault! What kind of person bathes in a #$*# pond?!"

"She does apparently."

"No kidding."

"Uh huh."

"So what are we gonna do today?"

"I guess we'll update out meager amount of--"

"GET THEM!" Jim spun as a blue-haired man leapt at him.

"What the--?" He dodged to the side.

"D'oh! Jesse, get them!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?" James turned. "Aw, no…"

"You're under arrest!" Officer Jenny walked up to them. "Anything you do or say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"

"Run! OW!" Jenny began beating him with a nightstick. She then spun and made a round-house kick to Jesse, stepping on Meowth's tail on the way down.

"Resisting arrest, huh? That's another offense!" She kneed him in the crotch and started whacking him in the arm.

"Hey! Ow! Ow!"

Jim walked up. "I think that's enough…"

"What? Who are you?"

"Um, just another trainer…I think James is willing to go to jail now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh. Ok!" She got up and handcuffed him to the handle of the truck. Then she turned. "I've been after those 3 for 6 years. And I WON!!!" She started cackling with glee.

"…" 'Oh my God…police brutality…and she's insane…and her green hair is NATURAL. Whoa. Scary.'

Bob walked up. "Oh, hi. What's up?"

"She just caught Team Rocket."

"Oh. Where to now?"

"I could use a drink. Or something to cool me down…"

"Oh. How about ice cream?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Ok."

"Geez."

…Now back to Ash and Misty…

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Oops. Apparently Misty had found some more of Mrs. Ketchum's "medicine." She had used it on Ash. Oh dear. Looks like they did something that Nintendo will have to pay lots of money to cover up. Looks like the author is going to be the victim of some hitmen soon. Oh no. Back to the situation:

Ash and Misty were lying in a ditch. Theirs hands were in interesting places. On each other. Next to them was a bottle of "medicine." Or 7. It was morning. They were fully clothed. Guess they passed out before anything happened.

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Jim was sitting on a bench outside an ice-cream parlor, next to Bob. "That was weird."

"Very weird."

"Definitely."

"About as weird as this fic." Bob turned to find Jim staring at him. "What?"

"…Never mind."

"Ok."

"This is boring."

"No kidding."

"Really boring."

"If we don't do something soon the author is gonna nuke us."

"Bob, we ARE NOT in a piece of writing."

"Yeah, we are! And a damned bad one too!"

"Oh. Ok." 'Whoa, he's gone insane…'

"So what do you wanna do?"

"We need more pokemon…"

"Oh. Ok." They got up and left.

…Since I don't really like Jim and Bob, back to Ash and Misty…

****************************************

Ash woke up. "Ow…my head…wha?!" He looked over at the sleeping form of Misty and his eyes bugged out. "Oh, NO!" Then he noticed that he was fully clothed. "Oh, that's a relief…"

Misty woke up. "What is?"

"That we didn't do anything rash."

She propped up her head on her arm. "How do you figure that?"

"Well, we're fully clothed…"

"Your pants are on backwards."

Ash stared in horror. "A--"

"Made ya look." She started giggling.

"Man…Misty…" He looked at her, annoyed. "Jeez, don't scare me like that!"

"Hehehehe…you should've seen the look on your face!"

"Man…" Ash sat back. "There is one consolation, though."

"What?"

"At least there's nothing to regret forgetting."

"Pervert!" She smacked him upside the head.

"Ow!"

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

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The author looked up.

Oh, look. Nintendo won't have to hire hitmen after all. Isn't that a relief? …What's that sound? Wait a minute…who the hell are you guys? Hey! Put that thing away! I changed the story! Hey! PUT DOWN THE WEAPON! I'm not kidding, man! There are like 53 witnesses! You can't do this! Back off! BACK OFF! I CHANGED THE STORY! I CHANGED THE STORY! NO! NOOOOOOOO!

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Bob looked up. "What was that?"

Jim shrugged. "Nothing. Now where was that Pokemon?"

"No, I heard something. It was…weird." He turned to his brother. "Jim, Nintendo sent hitmen to kill the author!"

"Are you nuts?!"

"No, I swear! They shot him several times!"

****************************************

Need…Aspirin…no…can't stop now…nooo…need to…warn the world…Nintendo…mind-control…domination…through the children of the future…must…warn…the wooorld…

****************************************

"There! Did you hear that?!"

Jim frowned. "No, I didn't hear anything…"

"…Never mind. Come on." They headed toward the forest.

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Dying…one last hope for the future…tap the keys… The author did so, and a small dimensional portal opened next to Jim and Bob, bringing 4 Parallel Worlds Neon Genesis Evangelion characters in.

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Jim jumped. "What the HECK?" He watched as 4 people came out.

One of them looked around. "Where the hell is this?"

"Shut up, baka! This is all your fault!" A red-head hit him.

"What is happening?" A blue haired girl started looking around. "Where are we?"

The last person looked around. "Uh…this looks like that crap television show with OW!" He turned and looked around. Then he looked at his foot. "What the bloody heck is this?!"

Jim decided to talk. "That's a Pikachu."

The boy stared. "The hell it is! Get off, you little bugger!" He picked it up and punted it into the horizon. Then a superhero called Captain Sergeant caught it and flew back.

"HEY! WHY ARE YOU ABUSING LITTLE RODENT THINGS??!"

"I'll abuse whatever the hell I like!" The boy walked up. Then he challenged the superhero to a swimming contest at a nearby lake. The lake was blue. The boy walked onto the platform. It was the championships. The boy would win. Then he pulled out a progressive knife and stabbed Captain Sergeant in the leg. Unfortunately, the Captain was from the planet OOP AOWAGA, which meant that his heart was located in his left leg. He collapsed. After this was done the boy knelt over the superhero.

"You…"

"Yes, master!"

"You will train the boy…he is the one…"

"Yes, master!" Then the fallen knight died, and the boy got up and walked over to the other boy, where he said, "Your first assignment is to kill that ##$#( annoying Gungan."

The boy responded affirmatively and took out a light-saber. "Annoying be you!" Then he chopped the Gungan's ears off and kicked him into the lake, where the alien evolved into a Gyrados and got more power. Gyrados came back up, splashing water all over the place.

"Meesa Gy Gy Binx!" Then he crushed the boy with his coils.

Then the mentor boy took a light-saber and threw it at Binx. Binx died quickly and they all cheered because Binx died quickly. Then the mentor boy pulled the light-saber out of the dead monster's tongue and screamed his defiance: 

"CensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensoredCensored!!!!"

Then the boy started waving his hand and shoving people with the energies that were produced when he waved his hand, then he smiled and walked to the others. He grabbed the queen and kissed her passionately, saying, "He was too young for you anyway!" Then the other boy came back to life and in a jealous rage attacked, but the mentor boy waved his hand and shoved his student into the lava pit which had magically appeared next to them, and the other boy was horribly physically and mentally scarred forever and ever and ever. Then the mentor picked up the smiling queen and waved to his fellow Power Rangers to go back in the portal. They went into the portal and it disappeared.

****************************************

Jim blinked. "What the bloody hell just happened?!"

Bob shrugged. "It was really weird."

"No kidding."

****************************************

Nintendo decided to wipe out every trace of the author. Ignore everything you just read and go back to the space marked by this:

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

…And then skip down to here. Ignore the entire passage involving the author. This story will make a WHOLE lot more sense if you do that.

****************************************

Ash rubbed his head. "What was that for?"

Misty smiled. "Just because."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So when do you wanna start back home?"

"How will we get there?"

"Walking, I guess."

"Maybe we could hitchhike."

"Yeah." Ash stood up and stuck his hand out, thumb toward Veridian. He whistled. A car passed by. Another passed by. Then a truck. Then a motorcycle gang. Then 4 more cars. Then a mini-van. Then a trailer. "What the hell?"

"You just have no talent. Watch." Misty stood up, and walked next to him. She stuck out her thumb and smiled. A car whizzed by, splashing her with the contents of a puddle. "…"

"Heh. Heh. Heh."

"What are you laughing at?"

"I just realized we could fly."

Misty stared at him. "…"

"Yeah. I've got a Pidgeot." Ash flicked the ball open. "There we go."

"…Idiot! Then why did you make me go through that??!"

"Because it was funny."

"…"

"Heh. Heh heh."

* Whack *

"Ow..wha wa tha foh?"

"Guess…Man, you are SUCH an idiot! I'm beginning to regret--"

Ash stopped rubbing his jaw. "Regret what?"

"None of your business!" She snapped. Then she softened. "If you're VERY nice to me, I'll describe in detail."

"Describe what?"

She turned away. "Idiot." She got onto the Pidgeot.

"No, seriously, what?" Ash yelped as she pulled him on.

"Pallet." It obediently flew off into the night.

****************************************

Part 5.5: Jim and Bob go to Pokemon Tech

****************************************

This episode of Trainers is very strange. It is completely understandable by anyone who doesn't understand the rest of the series. Namely, anyone who's sane. This means that I don't understand what I'm writing. I'm kidding. Actually, I don't know if I am. It never occurred to me to check.

****************************************

Jim stared at the receptionist. "I have to wear a uniform?"

She nodded. "All students of Pokemon Tech have to wear uniforms. This is a VERY exclusive school."

"…" He turned to Bob. "Sure we want to go through with this?"

"Yeah, sure."

They took their uniforms and walked off.

****************************************

The teacher looked up. "James Corben?"

Jim raised his hand. "Here."

"Robert Corben?"

"…" Bob was slumped onto his desk and snoring.

"Does anybody know Robert Corben?" The teacher looked around.

Jim elbowed Bob. "Hey, raise your hand!"

"…Here..glkz…"

"Very well. Let's continue our lesson for today. Jim, at what level does a Psyduck evolve?"

"…I don't know…" He turned as a collective gasp rose from the rest of the class. "What's your problem?" He said.

A boy spoke up. "How could you not?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everybody knows that! Are you stupid or something?"

"Yeah, but how will this affect me?"

The teacher glared. "What if, one day, you are raising a Psyduck?"

"I don't plan on it."

"You never know."

"No. Trust me. I don't plan on it."

"…"

"What?"

"Class…take James here out and teach him some facts."

A boy walked up. "Get up."

Jim glared. "The hell I will!" He glanced around at the circle of students around him. "What are you, dense? I'm not going anywhere!"

A girl whispered to another next to her. "What do we do now? No one has ever refused to get up before!"

"I don't know. Linda and Chris will take care of it…" They watched as a pair of students walked out.

Chris glared at Jim. "Follow us."

"I already said no! Who the #$#* do you think you are, the #$&*#) Gestapo?"

Linda spoke up. "I think you're afraid…"

"The hell I am. If I were truly afraid of you, wouldn't I LISTEN to you? Get a clue."

"No. You're just a stupid little idiot who knows nothing about Pokemon…"

Jim got up. "That's it. No one disses my Pokemon. Let's go."

Waving to the teacher, the class silently filed out.

****************************************

Linda eyed Jim warily. "What Pokemon do you have?"

He pulled a handful out of his backpack. "A bunch, but I use a Ditto."

"Are you kidding?!"

"Of course not. Chances are he's more intelligent than you are." He tilted his head. "When do we start?"

"Now." Linda pulled out a ball and pointed it toward the center. It flashed as a beam of light shot and formed into a Machamp. "Let's see you beat this!"

Jim frowned. "You're kidding…" He sent his Ditto to the center.

Linda smiled. "Machamp--Attack!"

Jim gestured. "Ditto--Mew!" Ditto's form twisted and formed into a Mew. "Psychic!"

"Hah! This Machamp is specially conditioned against psychic attacks! Submission!" Then she noticed that her Machamp was writing on the ground. "What the hell?!"

"Damn, I thought you were smart…Since a Ditto can change it's form, all it has to do to increase the power of it's psychic attack is enlarge the left side of it's brain!"

"…" She retrieved the Machamp. "…Jeez, that sucks."

Jim turned. "Anybody else want to try?"

Chris stepped up. "Yeah, me." He pulled out his ball. "Let's see if that brain crap can beat an Alakazam!" He cackled triumphantly.

Jim stared. "Ditto, turn into me." The Ditto did so. "Run over there and drop-kick that thing." It did that, too. "Damn, this school is for losers. Come on, Bob." They walked off, leaving two crying students and an angry mob.

****************************************

Part 6: Mew

****************************************

Jim stared. "Whoa."

Bob was twitching. "Whoa."

Before them was a REALLY rare Pokemon. Jim kept staring. "Whoa."

"You said that already." The spell was broken.

"So? I call it."

"Hey!"

"I saw it first!"

"Well, yeah, but I have like no other Pokemon!"

"Yeah, but I SAW IT FIRST!"

Mew watched them argue, fascinated. "Mew." {What the hell are they doing?}

"Man…I guess you're right."

"Assuming, of course, that we can catch it."

"Mew?" {WHOA! Did they just say "catch"? No way am I going for this. I'm out of here.} Mew turned.

"Hey, it's turning!"

"I have no Pokemon that can take it on…" Jim had a bright idea. "Hey, Mew!"

"Mew?" {Hey, he's talking to me…}

"Listen, If you become my Pokemon, I'll offer you some really great benefits!"

"Mew ew!" {Benefits…hm!} "Mew?" {What are they?}

"…Like health care, insurance that you don't have to get in a ball, good food…"

"Mew…" {Ya know, you're the only trainer to try to deal with me…}

"…And all you have to do is beat the crap out of some other Pokemon once in a while!"

"Mew…" {I knew there would be a catch…lemme think about this.}

"…Um…At least you're not running away…"

"Mew!" {No kidding, idiot boy! Jeez…This doesn't sound that bad…}

"…" 'Come on, man!'

"Mew ew mew ewmew!" {Idiot, I'm psychic, I can read your mind…}

"Arg…I heard that!"

"Mew." {Fine. This is a good deal. We split the profits 50/50, got it?}

"What profits?"

"Mew mew." {You'll be the only one to get a Me--Hey, it's those idiots again!} Jim turned around as another bunch of loser Team Rocket people appeared.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it…er…Triple!"

"Right. And…um…to unite all pipples!"

"Mew." {Losers.} Mew nodded his head and blew them away with a psychic blast. "Mew!" {Jeez, someday I'm gonna lose my temper…} He turned back, nodded at Jim, then began licking himself clean.

"Er…All right, then. Shake?" Jim held out a hand.

"Mew." {Fine. Shake on it.} Mew slapped the hand with his palm.

****************************************

"Misty, how many times have I told you, that is NOT apple juice." Ash was backing off from an eerily drunken Misty. "Um…you're only 15…"

"15 ith enuff. Don't you think?" She leered at him. "MORE than enuff."

"Aw, man…Misty…"

"Hehehe…wath that you got in yer pocket there?"

"Um…nothing…" Ash shifted uncomfortably.

"Hehehehe…" Misty slumped to the ground and began giggling nervously. "Hehehehe…funny…"

Ash sighed. "Misty…don't drink that stuff again…I swear…"

"Look at that!" Ash spun. Misty giggled and poured the contents of her bottle into his mug.

"What? Where?" Ash turned back, annoyed. "What the hell, Misty? Jeez, we need to get you some coffee…" He picked up his mug and took a long sip. "Hmm…has this gone bad?" He put it down and blinked, then started giggling. "Squeak."

"Hehehehe…"

"Hahaha…squeak…squeak…I fell weird."

"Hahaha…me too. I think the fooms are too strong." She kept laughing and got up. She stumbled over to him and collapsed into his arms. "Hahaha…"

"HeheheheHahahaha…"

"HAHAHA!"

"Hehehehehe…I fell ver funee." He wasn't blinking. Blinking is important.

"Squeak."

"Hehehe…Pika!"

"Hehehehehehe…"

"Heh."

"Hah."

"Whee!" She grabbed his head and thrust her lips to his.

"Hehe…mmph!"

"Mmm…"

"…" Ash held her firmly on the shoulders. "…"

She helped him take off his jacket.

…Well, enough of that. I'm sure you're not very interested at all…

****************************************

Jim walked carefully next to his new "friend," Mew. "Um…"

'I can read your mind.'

"Oh…"

'It's very dark in there.'

"Ah."

'Stop saying that.'

"Um, what do you see in Bob's head?"

'…'

"What do you see?"

'…Fascinating. There's almost nothing there!'

"Um…"

'I have never seen anything like this.'

"Oh, well, I always knew--"

'How does he survive without a mind?'

"Well, Bob is…special. Our mother sent him with me."

'Ah.'

"Yeah."

Bob skipped up. "So where do you wanna sleep today?"

"I dunno."

'I say we sleep over--AH!' Mew stumbled.

"What! What!" Jim turned.

'…No…'

"What? What's wrong?"

Mew looked up. 'Mewtwo is here!'

"…That's bad, isn't it?"

'HIS PSYCHIC POWERS DWARF MY OWN! WE MUST RUN!'

Bob was about to comment when there was a very loud explosion.

'No! NO!'

Jim clutched his head in pain. "What the…?" He collapsed as the psychic attack engulfed his frail mind.

Bob just stared. "What's wrong?"

'Mind…attack! Defenses…growing weak!'

"Mind?" Bob looked around. "I don't get it…" Then a huge furred paw smacked him into unconsciousness.

****************************************

"Ash?" Mrs. Ketchum flicked on the light. "Are you home, dear? Where are you?" She put down the groceries and walked to the closed door. "Ash?" She rapped it lightly, then shrugged and opened it up. Her eyes widened. "…" She then collapsed to the ground, twitching. "…"

****************************************

Jim woke up. "What the?"

"Silence!" A booming voice said. Jim shut up. He watched as Mewtwo walked out of the shadows.

'Damn, that's one big cat…'

"I SAID SILENCE!"

'Screw you, ya fat--' Jim gritted his teeth as Mewtwo sent him a psychic shock.

"…That is better." Mewtwo started pacing around. "Much better." He turned. "What are you doing here?"

"…"

"Never mind, I can see right through your thoughts. Hmm…" Mewtwo stroked his chin. "Interesting…my 'father' has a high resistance to my ability to read minds…" He stalked up to Mew. "When did you develop this ability?"

"…"

"Speak!"

"I didn't…the one you fought is my cousin."

"…I KNEW that!!!" Mewtwo started cackling madly and disappeared into the shadows again.

Jim looked over at Mew. "He's a nut."

'Yes.'

"How long have we been here?"

'Mewtwo distorts the perception of time. We have been here 7 hours.'

"Whoa."

****************************************

Ash slowly opened his eyes. "Whoa…who spiked my juice…" He slowly propped himself up on his elbows. "And how did I get--" 'Who the hell is breathing?' He slowly looked to his left, then gasped. "ACK!"

Misty jumped up. "What? What?" They stared at each other. "…"

"…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed.

Ash panted. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?! And…and where the hell are your clothes?"

"I dunno! I dunno where they are! I dunno why I'm here!"

"…"

"Agh! What did we DO?!"

"I can take a couple guesses…" Ash looked around frantically. "We gotta get out of here before Mom gets back!"

Misty had covered herself with a sheet. She nudged something with her toe. "Too late…"

Ash walked over slowly with another sheet. "…"

"…What do we do now?"

"…I say we camp out at Cerulean…"

"Good idea!" Misty started digging through his drawers."

"What are you doing?!"

"I need some clothes, idiot boy! Mine are unavailable right now…"

"You're not gonna wear underwear?"

"Do you see mine?" She glared at him. He sweat-dropped.

"Um, they're hanging on that trophy…" She reached up and snatched them.

"Jeez! I REALLY hope I didn't do something stupid…"

"I wish I remembered what I did…" He ducked under a thrown cap. "Hey!"

"Have some decency, Ash!"

"Ok, Ok…"

****************************************

Jim stared at Mewtwo. Mewtwo was cackling again. "Bwa hahaha! I will crush the Pokemon of the world with my POKECLONES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"…"

"BWAHAHAHAHA! GIGGLES! HAHAHAHAHA! CLONES! CLONES!"

"…" Bob was asleep again. Mew was meditating.

"DAMMIT LISTEN TO ME!!!!"

Jim decided to do something very stupid. "Mewtwo, I challenge you!"

Mewtwo paused. "YOU'RE KIDDING! I'LL FLATTEN YOUR PUNY HUMAN ASS!"

"The hell you will!"

"WHY WOULD I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE WHEN YOU'RE ALL MY PRISONERS ANYWAY??"

"Because all villains do!"

"FINE. CHOOSE YOUR POKEMON!"

"Hell, no! You'd just step on them! I'm talking about a contest…more suited to my…our…level…"

"…WHAT IS IT?"

"It involves Bob…and a television…"

****************************************

Mewtwo's head was slumped over. And he was drooling. Next to him was the fascinated figure of Bob. Jim and Mew were hiding in the adjoining room. "Ungh…too…much…"

Bob was watching, fascinated. "Laa-laa! Po!"

"My…senses…assaulted…can't…take…much more…" Mewtwo was twitching nervously.

"Wow! Tinky Winky!"

"Dear…god…my mind…it's disappearing…"

****************************************

It has been noted that, the more intelligent a person is to begin with, the less intelligent they are after being exposed to "educational" children's television.

****************************************

"Dipsie!" Bob's eyes were glued to the screen.

****************************************

Don't ask how I know their names.

****************************************

"Agh…the purple one…homosexual…I KNOW it…definitely…gay…ungh…" Mewtwo collapsed into a twitching mass of fur and brain. "Can't…think…glck…" He lapsed into thankful unconsciousness. Jim and Mew walked out of the room.

"Hey, now that he's unconscious, should I catch him? It's probably be damned easy like this…"

'Yeah, that might save us some trouble…'

Jim took out a ball and stuffed Mewtwo in. "There. That works damned fine." He looked around. Where's the exit?"

'There. And bring Bob.' Jim walked over.

"Bob. Time to go. Bob?"

"Laa-laa!"

"Oh, damn." Jim pulled out the plug on the television. "Bob?"

Bob blinked. "Oh, hi, Jim. Time to go?"

"Um…yeah. Definitely."

****************************************

Mewtwo blinked. 'Where the hell am I? Really dark in here…' He looked around. '…Oh, NO! That dumb kid caught me! DAMMIT!' Then he calmed down. 'Nah. He doesn't have the badges to control me right now, so I can make his life a living hell…' The cat smiled evilly.

Jim noticed the ball rattling. "What the? Aw, no, he's awake already!" He threw the ball onto the ground and watched as Mewtwo popped out.

"What the hell did you do that for, human?"

"Well, you were just sitting there…"

"I'm gone…" Mewtwo started to leave.

"Hey, you've gotta obey me!"

Mewtwo smirked. "What, with your 3 badges? Dream on, kid."

"…Get back in the ball, then."

"Yeah, right. You can't make me."

"Yeah, I can!"

"How?"

"With THIS!" He whipped out a Teletubby poster, causing Mewtwo's eyes to roll into his head as he passed out. Jim carefully put away the poster. "Heh. Idiot." He put Mewtwo back into the ball and secured it shut with some duct tape. "There. Mew, where do you wanna go now?"

'I do not know.'

"Oh. Let's head toward Cerulean, then."

****************************************

2 teenagers were flying on a Pidgeot. The red-headed one was hitting the other. "We don't have time to pick up Pikachu!"

"Yeah, we do! He's my best friend!"

"He's your friggin best friend?!"

"Yeah! And he doesn't abuse me all the time like SOME people!"

She smacked him. "What does THAT mean?! At least you managed to get ME drunk and in bed!"

"There is that…"

"Yeah!"

"…"

They neared their destination.

****************************************

Part 7: Jim Beats the Crap Out of a Bunch of Gyms

****************************************

Ash knocked on the door. Next to him, Misty was hiding in the bushes. "Misty, come on! They're your sisters!"

"B…but…"

"Jeez! Oh, hi!"

"Oh, like, you're Ash, right? Like, how's my sister?"

Ash sweat-dropped. "Um…this is very confusing…but she mistook some of my Mom's medicine for apple juice and--"

"Oh, like she got totally smashed?"

"Um, yeah, and then she spiked my juice…"

"Like, is this story gonna be rated PG?"

"No…"

"Oh, GOOD! Come on in!" She backed off and waved for him to come in. Ash motioned for Misty to follow.

"Come on!"

"I'll take my time…"

"Okay." Ash went in.

****************************************

Jim frowned. "This looks like the place."

Bob was eating some grass. Apparently Teletubbies HAD affected him.

'This is the place. Inside is Sabrina.'

"Oh. Ok." Jim opened the door. "Hello?"

'Come in,' a feminine voice said in his mind.

"Um…Ok." He walked along the path and stopped at the end. "Hi."

A light flashed on, revealing Sabrina in a meditative pose. 'Yes?'

"Well, I'm here to get a badge…" 'Mmmm…some whipped cream…some cherries…fudge sauce…'

'STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!!' Jim clutched his head in pain.

"Ow…"

'Sick, perverted kid! You're way too young for me!'

"Ok, Ok…just don't read my mind, then!"

'I cannot help it! I am too powerful!'

"Mew, scramble my mind."

'Yeah, okay.'

Sabrina blinked. '……………………………………' "Damn, it's not working. Ok, then. You've got a Mew?"

"Yeah, I found him outside of some town."

"…Ok. And you're using him?"

"Yeah, my other Pokemon hates me."

"Oh, lots of Pokemon hate their owners at first. What is it?"

"Um…Mewtwo."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!! HOW IN HELL DID YOU CATCH HIM??!"

"Um…I exposed him to 6 hours of a Teletubby marathon…"

"Dear God…you are a cruel and heartless bastard…" Sabrina took a deep breath. "Very well. I will fight you."

"Oh, hey, that's good!" Sabrina led Jim to the fighting circle. "Say when."

"Now!" Sabrina whipped out a ball.

****************************************

"—So we left my Mom on the floor and flew here." Ash twitched as everybody else in the room stared at him. He coughed. "Um."

"Like, wow. You guys are messed up…" One of Misty's sisters (I dunno which and I don't give a damn) said.

"Um…"

"Misty! I always knew you would follow in our footsteps!"

She stared. "Footsteps?"

"Oh, I guess we never told you about…"

The sisters began babbling endlessly about their many high school "adventures."

Ash and Misty reddened and bolted out of the house.

****************************************

"That was a good battle." They were all sitting on a bench. Jim had let Mewtwo out after getting a solemn oath to behave.

"Yes." Jim edged away from a comatose Bob."

"But I still feel cheated somehow."

"How?"

"You didn't use any moves…"

"So?"

"SO getting Mew to dropkick my Abra wasn't very nice."

"Sorry."

"Okay."

"…Okay, gotta go."

"Fine."

"Thanks for the tea!"

"No problem." She watched as Jim walked off, followed by a long trail of Pokemon.

****************************************

"No, no, when Darwin said 'survival of the fittest,' he did NOT mean that everything would die except clones!" Jim was arguing with Mewtwo, which really isn't a good idea when you think about it.

"Clones ARE the fittest."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean that everything else dies…it just means that they have a better CHANCE of survival!"

"Same thing." They both grew silent.

"Idiot cat."

"Crap-ass trainer."

****************************************

Misty and Ash sat in a hotel lobby. She turned to him. "So what do you wanna do now?"

"I don't know. Find another hotel?" Ash was still twitching.

"What's wrong with this one?"

"It's got one room…"

"So?"

"Whaddya mean, 'So?'??! Haven't you learned your lesson?"

"No, I mean we always slept close when camping…"

"…But that's DIFFERENT!"

"How?"

"Um…it's outdoors!"

"So you're willing to sleep close to me outdoors?"

"Um…no!"

"Then what?"

"Why are you being so forward all of a sudden??!"

"Pervert!" She smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"I would NEVER sleep with you!"

"You already did!"

"That's unproven."

"Ah. But in the literal sense you did."

"Yes…but we're not talking about the literal sense."

"We're not?"

"No."

"Ah."

Misty got up. "Come on."

"…Fine. Be that way."

"I will." She dragged him up to the counter. "We'd like a room, please."

The amazingly fat lady glared at them. "Aren't you a little YOUNG?"

She blinked. "No."

"I'm sorry, I have to call your mothers." The lady picked up the phone.

"You don't know who our mothers are!"

"Gimme a break, you're those Pokemon champions. Everybody knows who you are!"

"Oh. Ash, help me out!"

"Um. We're not going to do anything illegal…"

"The hell you ain't!"

"Um. Honest. Look at her!" Ash gestured wildly toward Misty. "She's ugly! She's evil! I would NEVER do anything with her!"

"Hm…how about me, then?" She grinned as Ash paled. "I'm kidding, you little meathead. Room 234." She gave them a key.

They looked at each other. "Am I really ugly and evil?"

"Of course not. Come on."

They walked up.

****************************************

AW! THAT WAS SO WARM AND FUZZY! Now I have to do something really bad.

****************************************

A huge nuke came from Sega and Sony, Nintendo's main competitors, and destroyed all the unshipped cartridges of Pokemon Stadium, Yellow, Gold, Silver, and Snap. The CEO's cheered when they heard the news.

I'm kidding, you meatheads. This story ends here temporarily because I don't feel like writing it right now.


End file.
